Only a couple/lover should take a decision on dowry, what and how much it should be, without another part like family or anyone else.
What was the purpose of dowry (Genesis 31:15)?
A dowry, sometimes called a bride price or bride wealth, was a payment made by a man as a gift to the family of a woman he desired to be his wife. In Genesis 29, Jacob loved Rachel and offered to work seven years for her father, Laban, in exchange for her hand in marriage. This is one example of the ancient convention of the dowry.
Groom to give a Bride’s family is the traditional culture in Rwanda even in other rest parts of the world. It is a crucial token of appreciation given by the groom to the bride’s family. Moreover, it is considered a way to thank the bride’s family that they have raised their daughter with good manners and values/morals. This gift meant a lot to both families like bonding them together and building a strong relationship. For many years, it is well known that the gift was a cow/cows that were given to the bride’s family. That was our traditional culture.
What is the purpose of dowry now?
However, Things Fall Apart, as Achebe Pointed out in his amazing Book (Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe, 1958) time went by and, there is no longer cow/cows but money (cash) the groom is required to pay a certain amount of money.
The funny thing about this is how much you should pay? What to consider? Maybe the beauty of the bride, education, Values/morals or her family background, I don’t know!! Nowadays it is no longer a wish or gift but a must. It no longer bonds family together but gets apart.
Until now there is no law regulating how much you should be given or paid. In this modern society, dowry sounds commercial and staff and loses its original purpose of the dowry.
Nowadays, there is a third party (Brokers) who sit there and come up with the price, sometimes there are a lot of arguments and fights or the groom loses his beloved because of a disagreement between two families about a certain amount of money. That sounds sad to me.
You heard a lot of couples here in Rwanda who Called off their marriage due to the fact that a husband-to-be failed to get a dowry. Apparently, it sounds like a bride is being sold by her family to spend the rest of her life with a loved partner. That is super unfair and weird.
To make this point, I believe that a couple should be the one and only who must decide what and how much it should be, without another part like family or anyone else.
